Round & About

(On a lazy Sunday, here’s a round & about look of the various happenings around us…)

...Of My Name is Khan (MNIK), police, politics and a bomb blast

- A visit to a suburban mall on Friday made me realize that Karan Johar should arrange for a special screening of MNIK for the Mumbai police force, considering that all of them are anyway deployed to save the film! What a field day terrorists would have should they choose to repeat a 26/11. Keep away from the theaters screening MNIK. Rest is all yours, Laden bhai.

- To keep the salesmen and nuisance creators away, wondering whether I should steal a poster of MNIK and display it in front of my building complex?

- Had the protests from Shiv Sena been so severe even if SRK had named his film, ‘My Name is KhanVILKAR?’

- Not that I know a whole lot about politics, but now that the government has ‘successfully’ saved MNIK, can they please turn their attention to matters of lesser priority to Mumbaikars: such as ever-rising food prices, ever-dwindling water levels and ever-dug up roads?

- And finally, would the blast in Pune’s German Bakery have been averted had the poor baker chosen to screen MNIK inside his doomed bakery? Maybe the security cover would have scared the bombers away. I wonder!

...Of the National Anthem, dry throats and more MNIK

- Went to watch Ishqiya the other evening. Prior to start of the movie, a super elongated version of our national anthem was being played. The official version is 52 seconds and I believe it is one of the most fantastic national songs ever: crisp and precise with a clear message. Making it into a pain-staking 5 minute lullaby is not going to raise my patriotic levels. The producer might as well make it 2 hours long and play the movie in intervals. Even the 2 sisters at the mike seemed to be half asleep. Poetic license and all that bosh!

- Even mineral water was not allowed to be taken in if you happened to be watching MNIK that night. Made me wonder whether the poor moviegoers were suffering more than the Asperger’s-stricken SRK in the movie. Parched throats, empty tummies and multiple security checks. All to watch a movie. Ridiculous!

...Of Mumbai roads, water woes, cricket and still more MNIK

- Wondering whether the city administrators are planning to reduce our water woes by digging up a gigantic well. Why else would anyone order to dig up all the arterial roads when the main roads are already subjected to maximum trauma (either Metro and/or Monorail, flyovers, etc.)? Or is the plan to create waterways, a la Venice? Then water clogging during monsoons would be a welcome sight.

- The water woes on the other hand, refuse to end. Last heard, the BMC is planning to make it mandatory for all large constructions—like malls, hotels and residential complexes—to have on-site treatment of sewage water. Better watch what you eat, guys!

- Music it seems binds the world together while cricket creates a barrier. Why else would there be such a big controversy when SRK said he wanted to include Pakistani cricketers, while a Pakistani (Shafqat Amanat Ali) singing a song in his film MNIK (Tere Naina) did not so much as raise a vocal cord.

- Colgate and Pepsodent should consider using Shahid Afridi, the Pakistani captain (of which there are many) for their teeth advertisements. Saw a video on Youtube the other day of a match against Australia where he was tampering with the ball by digging his teeth into it as if it were an apple.

Tail Piece

- All this thinking has got me pretty confused. SRK wanted Pakistani cricketers for his IPL team Knight Riders (KKR) causing Shiv Sena to protest against SRK, threatening to ban his film MNIK. Enter the Maharashtra CM who promised, and did, put his entire machinery behind SRK and got the film released. Now does that mean the government will also help SRK get Pakistani players for KKR and / or will Shiv Sena go and watch MNIK or what?